The Great Indian Dowry Market

India is a very unique country. Today with over 1652 languages, more than 7 religions, 28 states and 7 Union Territories we all are unified in more than one way.


Almost all of us have a BMI above 25(the prescribed is 22), all have a broader waistline, we all love to gossip, and we all are lazy.

We all like to talk about love and worship it too (in the form of Radha & Krishna)but if we find a girl in love we label her of a low character and a guy in love as an Oxen trying to mate(in other words no love but a sexual obsession). Its just like we worship Lord Krishna and talk about his “Leelas”, about Radha and her devotion towards Krishna, but nobody would like a Radha or Krishna in his own home….and then you find there are the “honor killings”.

All the guys love girls/women in skimpy outfits, but none wants that girl to be his sister, daughter or wife!

One more thing is common and that is our “path” towards marriage.

What I mean is that you have to follow a set of rules to marry.

1. There should be a mediator(Without that the proposal is not even worth a penny, no matter the family is an Ambani or Birla, or the guy/girl is even from Harvard/Venture Capitalist)

2. The most respected and valuable “team-member” from both sides is the mediator.(How cunning/liar/boastful he might be he MUSTT,this is the new word I formed recently i.e right now, U can use it in a context as we have replaced IFF for “If And Only If”, be respected)

3. We don’t take dowry, We accept only GIFTS, that too of our choice(In the end it is US who have to use it.)

4. It is mandate for the girl to be well versed in English(Convent Educated preferred), highly educated(B.Tech/MBA preferred), highly skilled in household activities(cooking/washing/sewing/stitching/painting/etc..), should be soft spoken, her features should be RAZOR SHARP(nothing less than the yesteryears Meena Kumari/Rekha or currently Aishwarya/Katreena), she should be MILKY WHITE(And people say we live in the country of browns!)

5. The guys pockets should be stuffed with money, everything else is secondary.

6. Atleast 20 pics of the girl are required, that too in different pose and outfits, However a single pic depicting an Eighth claas kid playing football, of the “groom to be”, suffices the need.

7. The “groom to be” is seldom below Six Feets.(right from 150cms to 183 cms all are equivalent to 6 feet!)

8. We don’t have a car and even if it is, its too old to carry the magnificence of the “bride to be” and the pride of the family.(We want a car in GIFT).

9. Clothes for all the “Khandaan” members.

10. The marriage ceremony would take place in an airconditioned hall(Even in January)

11. The Girl should be loaded in Jewelleries(Khandaan ki IJJAT).

12. The Grooms mother should be equally treated as the bride herself.

13. Same with the Groom’s Siblings.

 14. A thousand more(Including the Tent to the Menu)

Price according to trade are

IAS/PCS/CLASS ONE OFFICER: 25 lacs

Doctor: 20 lacs

Engr: 18 lacs

Lawyer: 15 lacs

Businessmen: Price may vary according to the business.

Jobless: 5 lacs

Others: 2 lacs



*Issued in Public(read GROOMS TO BE, atleast they should know their price!) interest(that too cumulative interest!).

"MY" "GOD" : Part 2

I had to go for a second post hand by hand because of the content. You might read ahead some lines ahead which might offence you, so reader's discretion is advised.


I had to take a 360 degree turn because without this discussion this post isn’t complete.

Here are some questions.

1. Where is God when the world is burning in war?

2. Where is “He” when a girl’s chastity is torn into pieces?

3. Where is “He ” when a mother loses her only child?

There’s not to talk much on point one because the pages of history are soaked in blood, in war, they have been there and often been justified, but there can’t be a justification of a killing spree of millions of men, women & children.

God Loves violence, & all this blood empathy & agony is a proof of that.

Elaborating situation 2, a quantitative approach tells there are two people involved, the culprit and the victim.

From this point onwards, when I want to think over the situation, I start to feel uneasy & I’l tell you why?

The first question is that is this the work of God? NO, promptly answers the heart, our God is so pure he must not be involved in this, this is probably the work of the Satan!

But is the Satan so powerful that he can interfere in the kingdom of almighty? Even if he can then can’t HE stop him? After all, there’s a little bit of him in everyone of us. So for a second if we consider that the God inside the culprit is been replaced by Satan, Isn’t the God inside the girl powerful enough to take over Satan?

A rational approach, free from prejudices will see that God & Satan are not two different entities, they are the shades of the same being. Very much like the Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang. Both very powerful, very dominating, very much like ourselves.

So recently I came to a conclusion for myself, for “MY””GOD”. MY GOD is very much like me & very much like the people I see every day. HE has many shades in his personality. Shades of love, of hate, of peace & violence, of sanity & insanity, & in his knigdom there’s no good no bad, he just does things & I love him for what he is & I don’t need to tell him everyday.

I have come to my conclusion of MY GOD, its time for your inception

"MY" "GOD" : Part 1

Its hard to imagine how many books, articles ,notes and publications have been written earlier on this topic or rather entity. Some influential ones are read at times of distress or need, and some more intriguing and well written, better known as the Upanishads, the Bible & so, are followed by people, the laws which are altogether named, calles and followed as a "Religion".


I am not here to challenge the existence of these religions nor to hurt anyone's sentiments, I am here to present my views about 'HIM', the almighty.

Yet again it is better to clear some air. I am not an Athiest nor a proper Theist. I vary between these two extremes, you can say I'm a wanderer by choice, not by compulsion or confusion.

Here I go. The world runs on certain "Laws", some of the laws of the nature, what we can see or feel, like air, water, fire, earth, sky. Some "Laws" which are defined by humans & always been emphasised as the Laws of the almighty himself. I'l like to concentrate on the latter.

I believe these laws are very much confused, a better yet harsh description would be flawed, just as they are from the past thousand years. They are assumptious, prejudiced, biased, & more often than not tailor-made to fulfill our needs.

Has anyone thought, that why our beliefs and image about him not altered a bit in thousand years?, Is it that our belief too string about him?, or is it that he never broke our utopian expectations?, or is it that we love him too much?, or it that deep down inside each and everyone of us are cowards?, too afraid to think about Him the either way, too afraid to explore His world on our own, too blind to open our eyes & see by our own sight, not plagurised by the beliefs of other mortals?

This is a question I will leave upto you to ponder.

Meanwhile, I will jot down some famous phrases, spare me If I miss some(after all I'm too a mortal.)

1. We all are his children.

2. God loves peace.

3. Not a leaf twingles without his will.

4. He is a shining light of purity, one which we cannot imagine.

5. We should pray to God regularly.

6. We should fear him.

& the best of all

6. Everything that happens, happens for good!!

Taking on 1,5 & 6, My question is whom do you love/respect most in your life?. Leaving special cases & some exceptions I think the answer would be “Parents”, so do you tell your parents every morning that you love them, No because its understood. Even if you don’t express the love at both sides is unbound, very pure, because the souls are integrated. The love is there when you are with them or away, either when you are angry or they are angry from you, even when they are upset or you are, its there.

The point is that, this must be the case between us & God, after all we are his children, so why it is necessary to tell him every day? And he should be forgetful and forgiveful sometimes just as our parents are.

Mr. & Mrs. Potter

It is often heard that life's lesson are learned the hard way & experiences in the journey, but I believe life gives us its best only when we don't expect it to. I am in a uncanny mood these days because of obvious reasons, but they don't hold a meaning with regard to this post, except the fact that no matter which mood you are in, love touches your soul. You might have a similar experience. Some days,  when you are in a pensive mood, sitting alone in your room, at one corner of the bed, looking out of the window your Mom arrives from nowhere, and she starts whisking your hair. You reply "Mom, not now", but inside you know, that touch soothes you!

So, this real life story goes this way, I and my brother were returning today from a "Brothers dinner party", because none of us has the pleasure of having someone of opposite sex as a mate!

Now, It has been five years since I am in NCR region. I don't know how longer I'l be here but two things would never evade my thoughts , the scorching sun and the spine chilling cold.

It's summer and I decided to buy a pot(pitcher to be exact) for I don't have the means to take pleasure of a refrigerator here( God knows how much I miss my engineering hostel's watercooler, because I think the company forgot to put a thermostat there. So, water there, was directly from the arctic itself!).

I asked a grocery merchant, if there was a potter nearby and he lifted his arm to point his fingers in the forward direction of our walk. I could see the vendors sprinkling water on vegetables to make them look fresh and I could hear them yelling the prices of vegetables almost one third of what they speak during Primetime i.e. 6-9 pm. I was thinking that the IIM's should consider making a case study on these small fruit and vegetable vendors as they lack basic education yet they know how to shell out maximum penny from your pocket. We( I and my brother) thought that we were going the wrong way when one on of the other merchants on being enquired answered that we were standing two homes ahead of the potter's.

We stepped backwards in that dim light to find a short and timid, bald-old man about the age of 90 lying on a khaat. 

I asked "Baba, do you have a pot?"

"Many!",he replied. I was impressed by the repartee!

He stood while clinching the sides of the khaat with both of his hands. A normal procedure used by the elderly as the body is too weak to lift its own weight and the spine turns stiff.
He opened the already peeking doors and invited us both in. Being the Indian Viking version(I'm 182 and my younger brother is 186 cms!). We both had to enter at one time; the height the gate was barely 5 feet and width, barely 2.5 feet.

Now here I can describe the extreme poverty and filth as an award hungry western journalist but my intentions are different here.
For readers appetite, I would just say it was not the poorest household I've ever seen, but wasn't too far either.

There was a 5' * 5' bed probably 50 years old which occupied most of the room's space, a sky blue sheet on which the prints were barely visible, anymore. A few utensils on the open cupboard, a hanging mirror, and most of the left out space occupied by pots. The adjacent "place" might have been built for storing purpose but here it was a kitchen cum washroom cum store.

On the bed lay an elderly woman who too might well be in her 90's. The tests of time had made her look like a stiff rod, while the wrinkles told their own story. She was almost as thin as the sheet itself for she occupied less than half of the bed area. She again ,after seeing us clinched her hands to the sides to sit up, for reasons already mentioned.

The old man showed us various shapes and designs. Each time I asked about the price , he would ask his wife to tell us so.
A normal eye would find nothing but usual business in that, An untrained eye would say the woman having her say throughout her life, but a mature eye would see the real thing. The man was not asking her to tell the price because it was her say, but because he still wanted her to feel equally important and to listen to her voice. Obvious as they couldn't talk much because both of them were not in the best of their ages nor health and they also had the "boon" of poverty.

I first thought of bargaining, but my conscience responded by telling me that I wasted more money in the day on useless things than I will save here. Meanwhile, the old woman asked me to sit beside her. A generous show of care which is no more relevant in our "civilized" society. I sat beside her while she asked her husband to bring some water to check if there is a leakage. I could see the happiness on the man's face being asked by her, even if its just water to check a seepage!

While the old man was off to fetch water the old lady told me " He gets troubled the whole day, I am too sick from two years, I wish...." she stopped in the middle as her husband had arrived fetching water, but her unsaid words were clearly understood. I gave the old man the money which he redirected to give to his lady love. She took the money generously and tied it in a knot in her saree. I could see the grin on her face. Maybe, today's medicine could now be bought or a meal for another time. As I stood up she blessed us" jeete raho beta" to which I answered "chalte hain dadi".

This episode taught me numerous things and above all, about love. Love for a 90 year old man for his wife and the unparalleled affection of his wife towards him. Their degrading bodies couldn't degrade their love for each other nor the poverty. I wonder whether the recent researches of the type "Being in good shape for a good marriage" ,or "Sex, the most essential part of a relationship" have any real meaning!

I didn't write the head of the post as Mr. & Mrs. Potter because they were not two different people for me. They were One.

For me one would be blessed to get a love like this. I ask the Gods to bestow me with one and you too!

Have The Gods Left Me?

I wonder whether the Gods have left me?

Standing alone in the midst of dark woods, I can hear the sound of crickets rattling in, the dark silence craving in,
Something which the cranium can't take anymore in.

I feel like a Gladiator, losing honor  in arena; my face covered in the ruble of dust, I can hear the voices of people surrounding me, some cheering me up, the most mocking at me, for the one who thought himself as Hercules has now given in.

I can feel them spitting on my face, I can stand , retaliate but the mind choses to stuck on the ground while the body is still breathing , the heart has given in, for I am a mortal; even a diamond, at some point breaks in.

My laughter is now fake, as fake is the sorrow, there's only flesh left behind, the soul is dug deep inside in a grave, I can't reach my within, Sometimes I wonder whether the Gods have given in, sometimes I wonder have the Gods left me, I now can't take anymore in!

Mother Of All Emotions : Prejudice

It's been a long time since I wrote something. Well most people would agree if I would say my work kept me busy, on the contrary the truth is a void kept me busy, built with the walls of apprehensions, agony and age old unanswerable wrath tipping emotions, the "why me?" and all that sort of crap that lead to nothing but expanding the void.

The question is what if I want to phrase the reason of not being myself ?

The answer is very simple PREJUDICE, prejudice about a dark future, prejudice of not achieving your goal plus a million other prejudices. How simple things would have been, if we as human beings could be like the laws of universe, simple and free from prejudice. For example, if you jump from the top of a building the law of gravity doesn't asks you whether you are a good person or a bad person, or anything of that sort, if you jump you are sure to be attracted towards the ground no matter what!

So, what as a human being can we do if we can't free ourselves from prejudices? In this case I suppose it would be best, that if we have to be prejudiced let us be prejudiced in a positive way. For example if you are going to meet someone for the first time, then think that person will be good to you. If you are meeting your new colleagues just think that they will be good to you, and mark my words your world will change!

...Well ironical to the context I have written and being an engineer I have to also keep in mind the exceptions, and in this it would be better if you be negatively prejudices when you go to an eating joint for the first time, because if then you will get something good to eat then the delight and taste doubles!!

FOREWORD

TO LOVE, WITH LOVE

Dear love, i don't know from how long I love you. I ponder where you are, who you are, how do you look, is the color of your eyes black or blue..or are like a deep green sea, ......are you brown as me or fair, .......your face is oval or long, how do you keep your hair, are they cropped or a cascade, are you shy or extrovert......Wherever you are I only want to say I love you and care for you...hope to meet you soon..

TO FRIENDS WITH LOVE

I'l stand by you, day and night, laugh when you laugh, and will share your pain in moments of grief, whether you can see me or when I'm out of sight.

I can't promise to be present at all happy times, yet in tough times I'l be at your side even if I'l have to travel through hell. I can't boast to spare my life for you but I can promise that I can spare someone else's for your sake.

I know I'm not good showing my emotions, but believe me I'm proud of you to be my friend, I adore you and I love you...Thank you for accepting as I am..

TO FOES, WITH LOVE

I'l come in YOUR arena, I'l not retaliate when you'l hit my face, I'l let you take your moves and play tricks with me, I'l let you kick me bring the worst out of me, while I'l read your every move. You will be happy and I'l be sad for you.

I'l wait till blood oozes from my body and sweat from yours, when pain and breath take over animosity, when fierce moves turn into small impulse,when both find tough to stand , when you think its going to be over soon, and yeah you will be right but the either way because then I'l gather my whole strength, I'l clinch your fist and twist it till you cry in pain, I'l grab you by the neck and confiscate your moves. I'l bring you closer to my face so that you can hear what I say and see what I want you to see i.e. the clear blue sky and the sun for the last time, because I'l break your neck and leave you to fall in disgrace. You will ask for death but I can't give you that because I want you to feel the fear of death and let it embrace you slowly.

When I'l leave I will tell you the truth

You beat me because I let you, Not because you are good at it...

and remember "I never forget, Nor do I forgive"...I'l come in your arena, learn your every move and I'l beat you at it.

And as they say in Hollywood "I'M YOUR WORST NIGHTMARE !"