Rahul Gandhi To Marry Veena Malik

Amidst political instability and growing chances of Mid-term elections, Congress yuvraj Rahul Gandhi is all set to tie knot with sizzling Pak actress and Model Veena Malik in a simple ceremony. Sources close to the two confirmed the news. The marriage will however take place in a swayamwar style where 100s' of decoy suitors from the Congress party and SP, BSP will be dressed as Groom when Veena will select Rahul among many.

It is learned that since chances of money laundering cases against him can be filed against him after the elections, he decided that this is the right time to marry, when the cash is in surplus. The duo is expected to leave for a world tour, expectedly on government borne expenses. The PMO on queried about the same issued a statement saying, “Rahul Gandhi has given his blood and sweat for this country, this is just a small gesture of the government to pay him back.” 

Sonia Gandhi is said be on her toes from the day she got the news from Rahul baba himself and is planning a party at Silvio Berlusconi farmhouse on her next visit to Italy.

Several members of the party and opposition were contacted by our reporters to record their views about the matrimony. Here are some excerpts from a selected few.

Senior Pokes Person from Congress, Digvijay Singh was more than happy to express his views, “We are very happy that Rahul baba has finally decided to marry, but as an elder of the Congress family I’m also concerned about him, carrying the household duties on his shoulder at the tender age of 42.”

On questioning about Veena’s Pakistani roots, Digvijay’s reaction was acerbic: “Who told you that Veena is from Pakistan?” “Certainly there is RSS hand involved in this!” “I have documented proof(holding an A4 size paper that seems like a birth certificate) that she is as Indian as Sonia Ji herself and after marriage she will be the country’s Bahu and who knows might be the next Sonia Ji of Congress”.

The last remark however didn’t go well by other Congress leaders and the reporter was told that the remarks made by Digvijay Singh are his own views. News is around that he has been deported to Bangkok for three weeks while the reason being given by Congress is rather questionable: “Digvijay Ji is having a stiff neck from past few weeks and has gone for a thorough massage session in Bangkok”

BJP: - This is yet again a move by the Congress party to distract common mans’ attention from rising inflation and a policy paralyzed government fighting its own allies.”We oppose this decision and ask for the PM’s resignation for the 50^th and final time. We will disrupt the parliament in the winter session till the PM hand’s his resignation”, Arun Jaitley was quoted as saying on behalf of his party.

When informed that the marriage was scheduled to take place in the coming fortnight, the senior BJP leader, after a brief silence, said that then they will call for a nation vide “band” on the 30^th of this month.

President: President Pranab Mukherjee was more than happy to receive the news by the reporter. He called for “Rosogulla” and honored the reporter by making him have the dessert with his own hands. He said, “The country is eager to see Rahul baba  in a bigger role, and what better than this.”

It is learned that Superstar Ashmit Patel will perform the Kanyadaan ritual in the marriage ceremony.

The Dark Knight Rises

I believe that writing a movie review is tougher than writing news articles. The reason is quite simple; while the latter is based on facts and inferences, the former is based on perception which virtually is unique to everybody.

Movie is like an art, most flock to see it, some bother to decipher it, even lesser understands it and only a handful have knowledge of it. That’s why the Scorsese, Tarantino, Ritchie, Nolan are one of the rare found species of the movie world.

Coming to the point, The Dark Knights rises is the best befitting ending a movie has ever got. I am not saying “could” because I haven’t seen the future. The 164 mins of runtime seems less and you end up wanting for more. Some may find it a bit slow paced but as earlier mentioned, depends on what do you expect and want of a movie.

Technical Part: Every single frame is watermarked with the name “Christopher Nolan” over it. Nolan has proved his mettle in directing right from Memento till date, so for that part I would say just go and enjoy the delicacy he has to offer. But it’s the screenplay that leaves you gasping in awe. Undoubtedly the best Nolan has ever written.

Cinematography is again handled by the genius Wally Pfister. If “who?” pops in your mind go to IMDB and search his name and when you will see the list of movies like Memento, Italian Job, Batman Begins, The Prestige, The Dark Knight, Inception, Moneyball in his name, you may question yourself; is it by any chance possible that this man has 360 degree viewing angle?; because in this very part, the detailing in every frame is so vivid you come to believe that Yes, Gotham is somewhere in this world and not a fantasy.

For editing I would just say go and figure out, say, 10 mistakes if you may (yes just like in the kids section of newspapers). Believe me it will turn out to be one of the hardest jobs you ever picked up!

The actors may pull of their parts, the director may build an aura of his own and a cinematograph may take you to a world you have never seen before, but story is the one and only one thing that differentiates a great movie from a good movie. That is why I rate this as one of all-time greats. Every loose end gets tied up till the very end and you get answers to all of the questions that popped in your mind from the very first part.

Performances, Comparisons and Character Sketches:

Bane: Even before watching the movie, I was sure that Tom Hardy would justify his presence; he gave me so much confidence in him from “Warrior”. I can see/hear lot of people comparing Bane with Joker. While I agree that Bane doesn’t gives you chills and frills as the Joker did, but I think the comparison is wrong since both these characters are set poles apart. While Joker was an agent of chaos and randomness, Bane is all about destruction and discipline. Actually he pulls off from where Joker left. For a city already once marred by a psychopath and no Batman for quite a few years, Bane comes as a Tsunami. He quickly takes on your nerve and his brutality is so cold that you begin to hate him so much so that in the climax, you can see and hear the theatre thundering in applause.

Catwoman/ Selina K: I have to admit that I have not been a much fan of Anne Hathaway (although I have watched all her movies that too because she is so beautiful :P). The reason is her inconsistency, whether be the choices she made in doing the movies or her acting. Focusing on the character she plays in TDKR, it is a very layered one and she pulls it off just right. No more, no less, just perfect. I won’t comment on how beautiful she looks in every single frame because that would take me in to the pervert category but I would say right from the action sequences to where she has to play by her eyes, she takes you in her grip so firmly, you won’t let your eyes off her.

Gordon/ Blake / Alfred/ Fox/ Miranda: The Dark Knight Rises only because of these characters, period. You have to see the movie to understand what I am saying.

Batman/Bruce Wayne: He isn’t afraid, he is angry!

Christian Bale has always scored a home run right from the “American Psycho”, his first movie that I ever watched. He took me again by surprise in “The Machinist” losing 40 kg’s for a role and then came the Batman trilogy. Talking about TDKR, you can see that a superhero is still human. All these years of fighting war has taken a toll on him, the pain and frustration of failed love and wrong indict that Bale carries on his face is marvelous, but the moment he wears his cape, he is again the Batman, fighting evil the best he can and yes, You believe him. It won’t be wrong if I say that his movie is only and only for and by the Batman and his Rise. And believe my when I say when he rises; he doesn’t rises in style, in fact he rises against all odds.

Just don’t go watch it, Savor it again and again!

Avengers AKA IronMan and the SideKicks!

Good things first. Only director Joss Whedon can click so many superheroes in a single frame, period! Mind it when I say, “Superheroes”, if it would be about the number of characters clicking in a single frame than I would rather say Martin Scorsese (and that’s hell good of a thing for Joss to be compared with the latter).

I am not quite a big fan of WWE and Marvel when it comes to movie making, but this one is far better than what these two had to offer ever, especially in terms of script and dialogues. The punches can never be more hilarious and aptly sarcastic as they have been woven in this film.

The cinematography and action sequences are in league with Transformer series and you enjoy every bit of it. However, the aliens and their ships don’t leave you gasping in awe as they did in the Transformer series and I felt that they were a bit too fragile in breaking up and tearing down!

Now Comes to the Critic Part:

This film is highly, HIGHLY over-rated. If there would be a superlative for “highly” I would’ve used that. The current IMDB rating is 9.0 from I believe 21 thousand kids alone.  Because 9.0, whatever be the genre, makes the movie stand at par with Shawshank, Godfather, Good Will Hunting which it is not and no mature movie viewer would  ever believe that.

The first half is too long. I could literally hear people chatting around just because the narrative was not catchy enough if not boring. Since the viewer knew almost nothing about  Black Widow and Hawkeye, some sequences were just built up to give some form to their character, but even after that they ended up nothing more than a side kick. Same goes for Thor and (worthless) Captain America. Even Iron Man takes every possible dig on him and on his lesser knowledge of the “New” world if not for a less IQ.

Only One character takes almost all of the loaf, and that is Iron Man. With best punching lines, maximum on-screen time and a fair role in climax leave every other character except the Hulk look like a sidekick, and I’m not saying Hulk as a sidekick because he has the minimum time on-screen but has the maximum impact and even the “hero” Iron Man compared him to an army in one of the scenes with Loki (the villain).

One more thing that I want to mention is the cheap tactics that is being used by Hollywood is to gain the viewership of Indian audience by mentioning India’s name or show a scene or two of this “Exotic” country. I mean the scene where Hulk is seen residing in India is not more than 30 sec long comprising a Hindi dialogue is nothing more than cheap publicity. Also at the end of the movie, we can see graffiti “Nayak” on some wall with Iron Man’s pic on it, lauding the superhero. I mean what needs to be questioned is that why in the whole world such a graffiti would be made in our country when the aliens attack only New York this time and not even the whole of America(like every other superhero movie).

Conclusion: Avengers is a good movie in its own genre. Go and enjoy with a popcorn and cola and you will laugh every now and then as the punches are nicely placed and well timed in the movie, just do not expect a masterpiece like Dark Knight or anything. The movie is a real entertained and I would give it a cool 7.5/10.

The Great Indian Dowry Market

India is a very unique country. Today with over 1652 languages, more than 7 religions, 28 states and 7 Union Territories we all are unified in more than one way.


Almost all of us have a BMI above 25(the prescribed is 22), all have a broader waistline, we all love to gossip, and we all are lazy.

We all like to talk about love and worship it too (in the form of Radha & Krishna)but if we find a girl in love we label her of a low character and a guy in love as an Oxen trying to mate(in other words no love but a sexual obsession). Its just like we worship Lord Krishna and talk about his “Leelas”, about Radha and her devotion towards Krishna, but nobody would like a Radha or Krishna in his own home….and then you find there are the “honor killings”.

All the guys love girls/women in skimpy outfits, but none wants that girl to be his sister, daughter or wife!

One more thing is common and that is our “path” towards marriage.

What I mean is that you have to follow a set of rules to marry.

1. There should be a mediator(Without that the proposal is not even worth a penny, no matter the family is an Ambani or Birla, or the guy/girl is even from Harvard/Venture Capitalist)

2. The most respected and valuable “team-member” from both sides is the mediator.(How cunning/liar/boastful he might be he MUSTT,this is the new word I formed recently i.e right now, U can use it in a context as we have replaced IFF for “If And Only If”, be respected)

3. We don’t take dowry, We accept only GIFTS, that too of our choice(In the end it is US who have to use it.)

4. It is mandate for the girl to be well versed in English(Convent Educated preferred), highly educated(B.Tech/MBA preferred), highly skilled in household activities(cooking/washing/sewing/stitching/painting/etc..), should be soft spoken, her features should be RAZOR SHARP(nothing less than the yesteryears Meena Kumari/Rekha or currently Aishwarya/Katreena), she should be MILKY WHITE(And people say we live in the country of browns!)

5. The guys pockets should be stuffed with money, everything else is secondary.

6. Atleast 20 pics of the girl are required, that too in different pose and outfits, However a single pic depicting an Eighth claas kid playing football, of the “groom to be”, suffices the need.

7. The “groom to be” is seldom below Six Feets.(right from 150cms to 183 cms all are equivalent to 6 feet!)

8. We don’t have a car and even if it is, its too old to carry the magnificence of the “bride to be” and the pride of the family.(We want a car in GIFT).

9. Clothes for all the “Khandaan” members.

10. The marriage ceremony would take place in an airconditioned hall(Even in January)

11. The Girl should be loaded in Jewelleries(Khandaan ki IJJAT).

12. The Grooms mother should be equally treated as the bride herself.

13. Same with the Groom’s Siblings.

 14. A thousand more(Including the Tent to the Menu)

Price according to trade are

IAS/PCS/CLASS ONE OFFICER: 25 lacs

Doctor: 20 lacs

Engr: 18 lacs

Lawyer: 15 lacs

Businessmen: Price may vary according to the business.

Jobless: 5 lacs

Others: 2 lacs



*Issued in Public(read GROOMS TO BE, atleast they should know their price!) interest(that too cumulative interest!).

"MY" "GOD" : Part 2

I had to go for a second post hand by hand because of the content. You might read ahead some lines ahead which might offence you, so reader's discretion is advised.


I had to take a 360 degree turn because without this discussion this post isn’t complete.

Here are some questions.

1. Where is God when the world is burning in war?

2. Where is “He” when a girl’s chastity is torn into pieces?

3. Where is “He ” when a mother loses her only child?

There’s not to talk much on point one because the pages of history are soaked in blood, in war, they have been there and often been justified, but there can’t be a justification of a killing spree of millions of men, women & children.

God Loves violence, & all this blood empathy & agony is a proof of that.

Elaborating situation 2, a quantitative approach tells there are two people involved, the culprit and the victim.

From this point onwards, when I want to think over the situation, I start to feel uneasy & I’l tell you why?

The first question is that is this the work of God? NO, promptly answers the heart, our God is so pure he must not be involved in this, this is probably the work of the Satan!

But is the Satan so powerful that he can interfere in the kingdom of almighty? Even if he can then can’t HE stop him? After all, there’s a little bit of him in everyone of us. So for a second if we consider that the God inside the culprit is been replaced by Satan, Isn’t the God inside the girl powerful enough to take over Satan?

A rational approach, free from prejudices will see that God & Satan are not two different entities, they are the shades of the same being. Very much like the Chinese philosophy of Yin and Yang. Both very powerful, very dominating, very much like ourselves.

So recently I came to a conclusion for myself, for “MY””GOD”. MY GOD is very much like me & very much like the people I see every day. HE has many shades in his personality. Shades of love, of hate, of peace & violence, of sanity & insanity, & in his knigdom there’s no good no bad, he just does things & I love him for what he is & I don’t need to tell him everyday.

I have come to my conclusion of MY GOD, its time for your inception

"MY" "GOD" : Part 1

Its hard to imagine how many books, articles ,notes and publications have been written earlier on this topic or rather entity. Some influential ones are read at times of distress or need, and some more intriguing and well written, better known as the Upanishads, the Bible & so, are followed by people, the laws which are altogether named, calles and followed as a "Religion".


I am not here to challenge the existence of these religions nor to hurt anyone's sentiments, I am here to present my views about 'HIM', the almighty.

Yet again it is better to clear some air. I am not an Athiest nor a proper Theist. I vary between these two extremes, you can say I'm a wanderer by choice, not by compulsion or confusion.

Here I go. The world runs on certain "Laws", some of the laws of the nature, what we can see or feel, like air, water, fire, earth, sky. Some "Laws" which are defined by humans & always been emphasised as the Laws of the almighty himself. I'l like to concentrate on the latter.

I believe these laws are very much confused, a better yet harsh description would be flawed, just as they are from the past thousand years. They are assumptious, prejudiced, biased, & more often than not tailor-made to fulfill our needs.

Has anyone thought, that why our beliefs and image about him not altered a bit in thousand years?, Is it that our belief too string about him?, or is it that he never broke our utopian expectations?, or is it that we love him too much?, or it that deep down inside each and everyone of us are cowards?, too afraid to think about Him the either way, too afraid to explore His world on our own, too blind to open our eyes & see by our own sight, not plagurised by the beliefs of other mortals?

This is a question I will leave upto you to ponder.

Meanwhile, I will jot down some famous phrases, spare me If I miss some(after all I'm too a mortal.)

1. We all are his children.

2. God loves peace.

3. Not a leaf twingles without his will.

4. He is a shining light of purity, one which we cannot imagine.

5. We should pray to God regularly.

6. We should fear him.

& the best of all

6. Everything that happens, happens for good!!

Taking on 1,5 & 6, My question is whom do you love/respect most in your life?. Leaving special cases & some exceptions I think the answer would be “Parents”, so do you tell your parents every morning that you love them, No because its understood. Even if you don’t express the love at both sides is unbound, very pure, because the souls are integrated. The love is there when you are with them or away, either when you are angry or they are angry from you, even when they are upset or you are, its there.

The point is that, this must be the case between us & God, after all we are his children, so why it is necessary to tell him every day? And he should be forgetful and forgiveful sometimes just as our parents are.

Mr. & Mrs. Potter

It is often heard that life's lesson are learned the hard way & experiences in the journey, but I believe life gives us its best only when we don't expect it to. I am in a uncanny mood these days because of obvious reasons, but they don't hold a meaning with regard to this post, except the fact that no matter which mood you are in, love touches your soul. You might have a similar experience. Some days,  when you are in a pensive mood, sitting alone in your room, at one corner of the bed, looking out of the window your Mom arrives from nowhere, and she starts whisking your hair. You reply "Mom, not now", but inside you know, that touch soothes you!

So, this real life story goes this way, I and my brother were returning today from a "Brothers dinner party", because none of us has the pleasure of having someone of opposite sex as a mate!

Now, It has been five years since I am in NCR region. I don't know how longer I'l be here but two things would never evade my thoughts , the scorching sun and the spine chilling cold.

It's summer and I decided to buy a pot(pitcher to be exact) for I don't have the means to take pleasure of a refrigerator here( God knows how much I miss my engineering hostel's watercooler, because I think the company forgot to put a thermostat there. So, water there, was directly from the arctic itself!).

I asked a grocery merchant, if there was a potter nearby and he lifted his arm to point his fingers in the forward direction of our walk. I could see the vendors sprinkling water on vegetables to make them look fresh and I could hear them yelling the prices of vegetables almost one third of what they speak during Primetime i.e. 6-9 pm. I was thinking that the IIM's should consider making a case study on these small fruit and vegetable vendors as they lack basic education yet they know how to shell out maximum penny from your pocket. We( I and my brother) thought that we were going the wrong way when one on of the other merchants on being enquired answered that we were standing two homes ahead of the potter's.

We stepped backwards in that dim light to find a short and timid, bald-old man about the age of 90 lying on a khaat. 

I asked "Baba, do you have a pot?"

"Many!",he replied. I was impressed by the repartee!

He stood while clinching the sides of the khaat with both of his hands. A normal procedure used by the elderly as the body is too weak to lift its own weight and the spine turns stiff.
He opened the already peeking doors and invited us both in. Being the Indian Viking version(I'm 182 and my younger brother is 186 cms!). We both had to enter at one time; the height the gate was barely 5 feet and width, barely 2.5 feet.

Now here I can describe the extreme poverty and filth as an award hungry western journalist but my intentions are different here.
For readers appetite, I would just say it was not the poorest household I've ever seen, but wasn't too far either.

There was a 5' * 5' bed probably 50 years old which occupied most of the room's space, a sky blue sheet on which the prints were barely visible, anymore. A few utensils on the open cupboard, a hanging mirror, and most of the left out space occupied by pots. The adjacent "place" might have been built for storing purpose but here it was a kitchen cum washroom cum store.

On the bed lay an elderly woman who too might well be in her 90's. The tests of time had made her look like a stiff rod, while the wrinkles told their own story. She was almost as thin as the sheet itself for she occupied less than half of the bed area. She again ,after seeing us clinched her hands to the sides to sit up, for reasons already mentioned.

The old man showed us various shapes and designs. Each time I asked about the price , he would ask his wife to tell us so.
A normal eye would find nothing but usual business in that, An untrained eye would say the woman having her say throughout her life, but a mature eye would see the real thing. The man was not asking her to tell the price because it was her say, but because he still wanted her to feel equally important and to listen to her voice. Obvious as they couldn't talk much because both of them were not in the best of their ages nor health and they also had the "boon" of poverty.

I first thought of bargaining, but my conscience responded by telling me that I wasted more money in the day on useless things than I will save here. Meanwhile, the old woman asked me to sit beside her. A generous show of care which is no more relevant in our "civilized" society. I sat beside her while she asked her husband to bring some water to check if there is a leakage. I could see the happiness on the man's face being asked by her, even if its just water to check a seepage!

While the old man was off to fetch water the old lady told me " He gets troubled the whole day, I am too sick from two years, I wish...." she stopped in the middle as her husband had arrived fetching water, but her unsaid words were clearly understood. I gave the old man the money which he redirected to give to his lady love. She took the money generously and tied it in a knot in her saree. I could see the grin on her face. Maybe, today's medicine could now be bought or a meal for another time. As I stood up she blessed us" jeete raho beta" to which I answered "chalte hain dadi".

This episode taught me numerous things and above all, about love. Love for a 90 year old man for his wife and the unparalleled affection of his wife towards him. Their degrading bodies couldn't degrade their love for each other nor the poverty. I wonder whether the recent researches of the type "Being in good shape for a good marriage" ,or "Sex, the most essential part of a relationship" have any real meaning!

I didn't write the head of the post as Mr. & Mrs. Potter because they were not two different people for me. They were One.

For me one would be blessed to get a love like this. I ask the Gods to bestow me with one and you too!