India is a very unique country. Today with over 1652 languages, more than 7 religions, 28 states and 7 Union Territories we all are unified in more than one way.
Almost all of us have a BMI above 25(the prescribed is 22), all have a broader waistline, we all love to gossip, and we all are lazy.
We all like to talk about love and worship it too (in the form of Radha & Krishna)but if we find a girl in love we label her of a low character and a guy in love as an Oxen trying to mate(in other words no love but a sexual obsession). Its just like we worship Lord Krishna and talk about his “Leelas”, about Radha and her devotion towards Krishna, but nobody would like a Radha or Krishna in his own home….and then you find there are the “honor killings”.
All the guys love girls/women in skimpy outfits, but none wants that girl to be his sister, daughter or wife!
One more thing is common and that is our “path” towards marriage.
What I mean is that you have to follow a set of rules to marry.
1. There should be a mediator(Without that the proposal is not even worth a penny, no matter the family is an Ambani or Birla, or the guy/girl is even from Harvard/Venture Capitalist)
2. The most respected and valuable “team-member” from both sides is the mediator.(How cunning/liar/boastful he might be he MUSTT,this is the new word I formed recently i.e right now, U can use it in a context as we have replaced IFF for “If And Only If”, be respected)
3. We don’t take dowry, We accept only GIFTS, that too of our choice(In the end it is US who have to use it.)
4. It is mandate for the girl to be well versed in English(Convent Educated preferred), highly educated(B.Tech/MBA preferred), highly skilled in household activities(cooking/washing/sewing/stitching/painting/etc..), should be soft spoken, her features should be RAZOR SHARP(nothing less than the yesteryears Meena Kumari/Rekha or currently Aishwarya/Katreena), she should be MILKY WHITE(And people say we live in the country of browns!)
5. The guys pockets should be stuffed with money, everything else is secondary.
6. Atleast 20 pics of the girl are required, that too in different pose and outfits, However a single pic depicting an Eighth claas kid playing football, of the “groom to be”, suffices the need.
7. The “groom to be” is seldom below Six Feets.(right from 150cms to 183 cms all are equivalent to 6 feet!)
8. We don’t have a car and even if it is, its too old to carry the magnificence of the “bride to be” and the pride of the family.(We want a car in GIFT).
9. Clothes for all the “Khandaan” members.
10. The marriage ceremony would take place in an airconditioned hall(Even in January)
11. The Girl should be loaded in Jewelleries(Khandaan ki IJJAT).
12. The Grooms mother should be equally treated as the bride herself.
13. Same with the Groom’s Siblings.
14. A thousand more(Including the Tent to the Menu)
Price according to trade are
IAS/PCS/CLASS ONE OFFICER: 25 lacs
Doctor: 20 lacs
Engr: 18 lacs
Lawyer: 15 lacs
Businessmen: Price may vary according to the business.
Jobless: 5 lacs
Others: 2 lacs
*Issued in Public(read GROOMS TO BE, atleast they should know their price!) interest(that too cumulative interest!).
Almost all of us have a BMI above 25(the prescribed is 22), all have a broader waistline, we all love to gossip, and we all are lazy.
We all like to talk about love and worship it too (in the form of Radha & Krishna)but if we find a girl in love we label her of a low character and a guy in love as an Oxen trying to mate(in other words no love but a sexual obsession). Its just like we worship Lord Krishna and talk about his “Leelas”, about Radha and her devotion towards Krishna, but nobody would like a Radha or Krishna in his own home….and then you find there are the “honor killings”.
All the guys love girls/women in skimpy outfits, but none wants that girl to be his sister, daughter or wife!
One more thing is common and that is our “path” towards marriage.
What I mean is that you have to follow a set of rules to marry.
1. There should be a mediator(Without that the proposal is not even worth a penny, no matter the family is an Ambani or Birla, or the guy/girl is even from Harvard/Venture Capitalist)
2. The most respected and valuable “team-member” from both sides is the mediator.(How cunning/liar/boastful he might be he MUSTT,this is the new word I formed recently i.e right now, U can use it in a context as we have replaced IFF for “If And Only If”, be respected)
3. We don’t take dowry, We accept only GIFTS, that too of our choice(In the end it is US who have to use it.)
4. It is mandate for the girl to be well versed in English(Convent Educated preferred), highly educated(B.Tech/MBA preferred), highly skilled in household activities(cooking/washing/sewing/stitching/painting/etc..), should be soft spoken, her features should be RAZOR SHARP(nothing less than the yesteryears Meena Kumari/Rekha or currently Aishwarya/Katreena), she should be MILKY WHITE(And people say we live in the country of browns!)
5. The guys pockets should be stuffed with money, everything else is secondary.
6. Atleast 20 pics of the girl are required, that too in different pose and outfits, However a single pic depicting an Eighth claas kid playing football, of the “groom to be”, suffices the need.
7. The “groom to be” is seldom below Six Feets.(right from 150cms to 183 cms all are equivalent to 6 feet!)
8. We don’t have a car and even if it is, its too old to carry the magnificence of the “bride to be” and the pride of the family.(We want a car in GIFT).
9. Clothes for all the “Khandaan” members.
10. The marriage ceremony would take place in an airconditioned hall(Even in January)
11. The Girl should be loaded in Jewelleries(Khandaan ki IJJAT).
12. The Grooms mother should be equally treated as the bride herself.
13. Same with the Groom’s Siblings.
14. A thousand more(Including the Tent to the Menu)
Price according to trade are
IAS/PCS/CLASS ONE OFFICER: 25 lacs
Doctor: 20 lacs
Engr: 18 lacs
Lawyer: 15 lacs
Businessmen: Price may vary according to the business.
Jobless: 5 lacs
Others: 2 lacs
*Issued in Public(read GROOMS TO BE, atleast they should know their price!) interest(that too cumulative interest!).
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my friend, I doubt the prices u've quoted. Maybe true for engineers (though it varies according to college and job) it's way too high for IAS/Class One officers...
ReplyDeleteThen I think u need to update urself, no offence though, and yes I agree for the varying rate of engineers!!
ReplyDeletethe renowed critic Anurag Chauhan says, ''a sarcastic n well-written blog, highlighting the fake traditional value system n the meagre status f female human in this 'highly educated n progressive' Indian society.''
ReplyDelete